Day: August 28, 2011

  • I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
    And I understand why you wouldn't want to
    I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you

    And I can't see you
    Getting used to
    Living in the midst of your perfection
    And I'm so lost
    How can you trust
    Somewhere the sun is always shining

    And there's just one last thing that I have to say
    As we reflect on the mess of all this that I've made
    It was cowardice that made me push you away
    I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me

  • mi sonrisa

    And suddenly, you become a part of my past;
    you're becoming the part that don't last.
    I'm losing you, and it's effortless.

    - The Fray

    -+-

    I never talk about The Break-Up of 2011 out loud that much, so it's an experience every time I do.  Each time, I go through different emotions as I describe my situation.  It's ranged from sadness and longing, to optimism and appreciation.  And yesterday, after tormenting a new friend with my usual spiel of my life story, I found myself in a unique state of mind.

    I was content.

    Describing my break-up and my depression felt like I was describing a memory, rather than something that I'm currently going through.  It was even something that wasn't readily available in my head, due to a lack of usage -- I felt like I had to exert effort to access it.  I had to dig for it through my newly planted memory garden of stem cells, school, and friendship.  Describing the last few months felt like an accomplishment, and my smile and my laughter -- those are my medals.  It was beautiful to learn that I have that glimmer back in my smile.  The sparkle is back in my eyes.  I turned my life around.

    And I'm content with where I am now.  And I'm content with the life that I've experienced over the past several months.  

    Talk about an understatement.