Day: August 7, 2011

  • Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over,
    but had me believing it was always something that I'd done.
    And I don't wanna live that way,
    reading into every word you say.

    - Kimbra

    -+-

    My friends and I sat down and we rapped for a few minutes about myself and Phuc, and damn. I'm just making progress all day, err'day!  It was weird saying a lot of this stuff out loud, since I got used to just typing it out for the last couple of weeks.  But damn, I'm confiding in more people and I'm making better friends with the people I met in the first few weeks of summer, and it's going well! One of my friends got really teary during the pep talks and when I described my story, and I was like, damn these girls actually really care about me.

    -- "Back in high school and even during the first two years of college, I always only saw myself as 'Phuc's girlfriend,' and my self-esteem was entirely dependent on him.  And it's only now I'm finally realizing that I'm not 'Phuc's girlfriend,' I'm Christa.  And that's actually really cool."

    -- "Christa, I don't think you ever needed to force yourself.  Everything you do is just so natural, and we just love you for who you are.  I think you were really just amazing the entire time, even when you were really shy.  And you never needed to hide that."

    -- "But honestly, I think you really are a completely different person than before."

    And I'm like, shit, damn, fucking straight.

    Then I asked, "Dude, do I talk about my lab a lot?"
    -- "Yeah, you really do.  No one else talks about their lab as much as you."

    LOL, FUCK

    Because I'll be honest, all this really important chatter happened about Phuc today, but I sat down to blog and I just wanted to rant about my lab again, and had to spend some time getting my priorities straight.  But I was trying to organize my thoughts about my lab, and honestly I can only imagine vomiting out everything in a random, unorganized, nonsensical, attention-deficit rant.  The gist in the broadest form possible: "It's educational and awesome!"

    -- "So honestly, I talk about you guys a lot.  I think my housemates are sick of me already.  And I think they can describe my project as well as me by now, I just talk about the lab that much.  But they think all of you just sound like the nicest people.  So basically, I'm kind of fond of this lab."

    Anyway, I'm going to sleep.  I had a hugely eventful day, but damn, I'm tired.  You guys are missing out on all the details, sucks to be you!  If only I could just give you access to my brain! (lol i'm saying that as if any of you care about my day)

    But I have a very important schedule for tomorrow: bum out after my symposium! :>

    PAYCE OUT XD