October 3, 2006

  • ::finally blogs again::  Whee.

    RANT:

    Xanga's always generally a huge venting place for me, but I'm aghast at the stack of situations on hand.  Things far too personal, things far too mundane.  Secret plots that can't be revealed, and all the internal mumbo jumbo in my head that you wouldn't be interested in.  Or at least that's my excuse. 

    It's not accurate to say that I've stopped wearing my heart on my sleeve, but rather that I'm making an effort to.. in naught.  My body language spells out my insecurities.  I'm easy to fool, as I trust before I distrust.  I'm easily bossed around.  I'm emotionally fragile, but I often deceive that I'm not.  Not to imply any call of attention, but these are all my negative traits that someone can find within an hour of meeting me, maybe less. (Mind you, my self-esteem is remarkably good.)  Even odder is that I'm not alone.  Alas, life is a big group therapy session, while Xanga permits this soliloquy, where I'm not meant to receive more intimate feedback than a few sentences of comment.

    It's either that, or there're things that I need to keep to myself.  I've found myself to be the type to spill my heart to the closest of close.. or strangers, because c'mon, who are they going to tell?  I officially lack my anonymous audience.  Everywhere.  My mind, rattled with all the content it has to struggle with on its own, is in shambles.

    That was mostly for myself, I suppose.  There's that hollow feeling in my stomach that I can't kick away.

    Happly Mapling.  XD

    AND I HATE THE WRITERS FOR PRISON BREAK AND VANISHED.  The shows devastate me too much!  =[[[[

    Today's lesson: Every damsel in distress is paired with a knight in shining armor.  Nowadays, however, the lady gets to wear the pants when she wants to.  :]

    hush little baby, don't say a word

    Bye for now.

    PS: Hello, October.