March 2, 2006
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Hellooo.
Today, on the way home from school, I had a weird flashback, suddenly springing to mind when I saw a cat runover on the road. It was summer of last year, and I had just moved here, nearing the peak of the sudden spark to believe in everything and love all. Every week or two, my parents and I would go to the Costco down the road to fill up on gas. Every time we pulled into the parking lot, there would a cat, lying on the side of the road, obviously dead, killed by a car. I named that piece of roadkill; her--I dubbed it a "her"--name was Madeline. It was because I hated the thought of anything dead to die completely alone and forgotten, with no point to its life. So I named it, so it wasn't just "that dead cat". It was Madeline. She's gone now from that spot. She's not gone from my mind. In that sense, she's still alive.
My mother once told me an old Filipino tradition, that after someone dies, you only honor their death and the one year anniversary of their death. Afterwards, you don't honor it anymore so that you can forget, and your spirit can move on. I apologize to her, but if that moment should come, I plan to disobey that ritual.
Memories are many, but some stand few and far between. Just a hearty mention. In the spirit of memories, I realize that I've changed so very much these last few months. I myself can't even pinpoint them, because my view is so subjective. I am no exclusion to the curse and gift of change. I don't know as much about myself as I think I do.
But I know this: when I saw that cat in the middle of the street today, for a second, it was nothing but just another carcass.
Today's lesson: Paradise, heaven, ecstacy, and joy all come in many forms. Likewise, so does hell.
compromise; it's nothing new to you
Bye for now.
Comments (5)
i remember seeing a dead cat on the road too .. and that day it was really windy and raining hardd. i felt so bad for it .. i even started crying ><;; . it was in 7th grade .. yeahh .. i dont know why i cried. it was just sad "/
did you name that rabbit we saw, too?
i'd like to remember it as more than dead rabbit, also.
you've rubbed off on me. i'm getting deeper with my posts also! so ha.
hello~
That's interesting. The Catholic tradition has simularities, there is a period of time to mourn (I think its three months) before the soul ascends to heaven. The family then celebrates the ascention. Something like that. I'm not a die hard Catholic but was raised in the tradition.
It's conflicting because I always learned that animals have no souls, and to believe so is blasphemy. Thing is, my inuition speaks different and so do my pets. When I look into my dogs eyes or my lizard or my cats, I see awareness. Perhaps not intelligence that matches our level as humanoids, but I with out a doubt see consciousness. That alone suggests to me, that they have souls who have chosen to be where they are or are evolving to be where they want to be.
Stop in and say hi sometime.
-Aion
Awww... poor little dead carcus ... I believe animals will be in heaven ...
I have many flashbacks like that ... from childhood ... strange thing ...
I loved your post .... makes one think about mortality ... I loved the last few lines, there ...
You are a sweetie ... have a great day!!
Connie
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