Hellooo.

Today, on the way home from school, I had a weird flashback, suddenly springing to mind when I saw a cat runover on the road.  It was summer of last year, and I had just moved here, nearing the peak of the sudden spark to believe in everything and love all.  Every week or two, my parents and I would go to the Costco down the road to fill up on gas.  Every time we pulled into the parking lot, there would a cat, lying on the side of the road, obviously dead, killed by a car.  I named that piece of roadkill; her--I dubbed it a "her"--name was Madeline.  It was because I hated the thought of anything dead to die completely alone and forgotten, with no point to its life.  So I named it, so it wasn't just "that dead cat".  It was Madeline.  She's gone now from that spot.  She's not gone from my mind.  In that sense, she's still alive. 

My mother once told me an old Filipino tradition, that after someone dies, you only honor their death and the one year anniversary of their death.  Afterwards, you don't honor it anymore so that you can forget, and your spirit can move on.  I apologize to her, but if that moment should come, I plan to disobey that ritual.

Memories are many, but some stand few and far between.  Just a hearty mention.  In the spirit of memories, I realize that I've changed so very much these last few months.  I myself can't even pinpoint them, because my view is so subjective.  I am no exclusion to the curse and gift of change.  I don't know as much about myself as I think I do.

But I know this: when I saw that cat in the middle of the street today, for a second, it was nothing but just another carcass.

Today's lesson: Paradise, heaven, ecstacy, and joy all come in many forms.  Likewise, so does hell.

compromise; it's nothing new to you

Bye for now.