stress

  • the ridiculous consequences of stress

    I cannot overstate it:
    I will be overjoyed!
    That smile on your face, like summer!
    The way that your hand keeps touching mine!

    - Matchbox Twenty, Overjoyed

    -+-

    I am extremely tired.

    Not mentally tired, like I usually am whenever I say that on this blog.  I'm not livid, not stricken, not sad.

    I am, however, so ready to sleep.  As I write in my room, procrastinating the need to study, my bed behind me is a wicked temptress.  I perpetually want to nap; I perpetually want to roll around in my blankets, cuddle my pillows, and drift the merry travel off to dreamland!

    Normally, this challenge would meet a very prompt solution: coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!!

    Nope.  Not this time.  It's not an issue of free will.  It's not an issue of weaning or addiction.

    I'm physically not allowed to have caffeine.  

    Why?  Well, that's my smooth transition into explaining that I've been back and forth from the hospital for the last few days.  I've apparently -- GET THIS -- stressed myself out so much that I caused spontaneous tears in multiple organ systems.  Looks like quick mental recoveries from recent panic attacks wasn't enough to adequately prevent spontaneous combustion! :(

    Who on earth saw that coming?!  I sure didn't!  I had pain in my abdomen and thought that maybe I drank some bad milk or maybe I didn't cook my meat all the way for lunch!  Not THAT!!!  And I've always thought that I've been going through Normal People amounts of stress, not Tear All My Organs Up amounts of stress!!

    Well, that diagnosis definitely happened, so doctors have been checking my bloodwork for internal bleeding (which so far all looks good!!!), and I'm on a regimen of medication that feels reminiscent of being in my 50's or 60's.  I've been requested to de-stress like crazy - relaxation therapy and classes, coping strategies, you name it.

    I had to do a double-take as I sat up on the hospital bed, still reeling from the summary of my conditions.  I asked my doctor again, still in disbelief, "So you... uh... so you're saying that this could've all been induced by just stress?"  She nodded with sympathy.

    Since then, my life is finally starting to get back to speed (although I definitely lost a lot of time, ughhh).  However, I'm strictly banned from spicy foods for a good month, but worse yet, I'm not allowed to have caffeine.  Among my symptoms, I triggered ulcers in my stomach and caffeine is acidifying.  *shudder*

    So now, I am pooped.  I want to take a long, beautiful nap on my Genetics textbook.  Yesterday, I slept wicked early.  ...and got no work done omfg

    bed so tempting

    pillow why are you so soft and wonderful

    ihu stomach acid

    i want coffeeeeee

    -+-

    "I think you've been working too hard.  You know how I know?"
    -- "How??"
    "...I think you know how I know."
    -- "'cuz mah organs failed 'cos I was too stressed out?"
    "Yes, Christa.  Because your organs failed because you were too stressed out."
    -- "WELL, technically, they didn't FAIL, they were just... operating at a, uh... sub-optimal level"
    "When your organs aren't functioning as they should be, that means they've failed."
    -- "Then... uhhhh..."

    UHHH