Sing your melody;
I'll sing along.

- Glen Hansard

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"Christa, you know what you're worth.  Don't you ever settle for anything less.  I don't care if that means you have to be single for the rest of your life, because you are special.  If a guy isn't the best, then he just doesn't deserve you.  So don't you ever settle.  Have high standards.  You're worth it."

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What if you had to write a protocol for, "How to Be Extraordinary"?  What would you line its pages with?

When it first comes to mind, the first thing I think about are stickers.  My main priority is to flourish those pieces of paper with flowers and hearts, with stars and animal silhouettes.  I don't know what that says about myself.  I can't think of a single step off the top of my head, but I know that I would want that protocol to be as colorful and beautiful and eye-catching as possible.  

I know that I want to write it while I'm eating pancakes with a side of hash browns and a cup of orange juice.  I want it to be infused with the therapeutic satisfaction that I experience when I am eating an excellent breakfast.  Every time I flip through that protocol, I want to smile every time I see the little spot where I spilled some orange juice while I was writing it.  I want to go, "Man, I remember that orange juice.  Now that I think about it, that was really good orange juice.  I really need to buy that orange juice again sometime."

I know that the pages will be worn, and it will be very messy.  I will attempt to make it look clean and organized, but it will be torn and damaged from overuse.  It will be covered in annotations, from notes that I need to take as I go.  I will need to add so much more to the protocol that I did not anticipate when I was first compiling it.  There is only so much that you can prepare for, only so much that you can foresee.  The rest of it, you have to play it by ear, and remember every lesson that you learn as you as experience it yourself.  It is always different reading the protocol on a piece of paper, and practicing the actual technique.  You will learn that it is not as easy as it appears on print.  You will make errors along the way, and it is natural.  You will simply need to note all of your mistakes and all of your successes, because both are equally important to your personal growth.  Eventually, you will be able to perform like clockwork, and "extraordinary" will come naturally.

When it is time to consider the actual content of the piece, then that is where things get complicated.  How does one become extraordinary?  I feel like I have been wondering this question for the last four months.  The moment that I could grasp my fingers around the concepts of "ambition" and "determination," I have been daydreaming about "extraordinary."

For many restless busy days, where I barely have enough time to myself to breathe these days, I have wondered this.  But today... today is special.  Today is the first day that I am seriously contemplating the cheesiest answer ever: be yourself.

But as we all know by now, I do love the cheesy.  I love the lame.  I love the corny.  The cheesier, the better.

However, as overused and cliché as the line may be, I've never before actually considered it as a possible answer.  I've never even had it on the table.  I've never even had it in the room.  "Be myself?  Pfft.  Talk about useless and ineffective, amirite?  What good will that do me?  What a joke!"

Meanwhile, as I sit here, I am counting down the days until my life changes again, until the next time that I am hopelessly wondering, "What do I do now?"  The dust had finally settled from the last dozen times that my life was turned around -- I'm starting to adjust to the new niches that I've been falling into, and the conflicts that centered around me are finally settling down.  And the moment I became comfortable, a countdown began until the day that my life would change again.  I can count the days that are left with the fingers of one hand.

But the thing about countdowns is that I still have no idea what to do with them.  How do your brace yourself for, "Your life is about to change"?  Is there really any amount of preparation that can be done for something with that much weight?

And so, I remain hopelessly wondering, "What do I do now?"

There is one thing that I always do in the laboratory when I do not remember how to perform an experiment.  I dig through my lab binder, and find my old protocols.  I find the protocols that I made the first time that I endured the long, extensive hours of experimentation.  I find the protocols that I made from my experiences, from my adventures, from my lessons, from my amazing sources of guidance and support.  Each of these pages have been ceaselessly important to the success of my repetitions.

Thus, I know that this protocol will be invaluable to me.  I will struggle to recall the fine details of starting my life again, so I'll dig into the bookshelves upon bookshelves in my mind, and I'll grab my battered notebook labeled, "How to Be Extraordinary."

While I'm turning though its pages in fond reflection, I'll know that this book of memories will be in my heart forever.  I will cherish the way that it'll reassure me, "Christa, you're one in a million."  I'll brush my hand against its carbon pages that tell me, "Christa, always do what you love.  Don't compromise what you're passionate for.  The things that you love are what make life worth living."  My eyes will well up as I read the words, "Christa, you are going to do great things with your life.  I know it."

When I flip through its pages, for once in my life, I will fondly realize the truth in, "Be yourself."

So with an open heart, I try to believe that no matter where life throws me this time, I'll take a deep breath, protocol in hand, and I'll be able to face it yet again.  All I know is that no matter where life takes me, I will be more than enough.

I will be extraordinary.