September 12, 2014
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bear
Muscle to muscle and toe to toe
The fear has gripped me but here I go
My heart sinks as I jump up
Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut-- Alt-J, Breezeblocks
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Our average conversations went a little like this. When we laugh, I flashback to all those months ago.
SHE: Uh, so... I joined the San Diego Beekeepers Society.
HE [in a fit of laughter]: Seriously?!
SHE: Yep.
HE [sternly]: Are you a bear?
SHE [laughs]: Excuse me?
HE: Are you a bear? Because now I'm starting to think you're a bear.
SHE: What?!
HE: It's okay, I understand. After all... I'm a bear.
SHE: Oh, really? You're a bear?
HE: Well... you've seen my chest hair.
SHE: Oh, shut up!
HE: You want to know a secret?
SHE: What?
HE: We're all bears.
SHE: Like, everyone here? Everyone at this restaurant is a bear?
HE: Shh! You're going to ruin the secret!No matter what, there's one thing I have to admit about him.
Let me preface this by noting that I laugh profusely. It's one of those laughs where my reputation has come to precede me. People can tell I'm coming from a mile away because they'll hear my laugh down the hall. I love golfing, but I don't do well on the calm-mannered course because I can't stop laughing. People punctuate my giggle-filled comments with, "And she's not even drunk!"
As awful and hopeless and careless as he is, one thing he can claim is that he's one of few that matches my laughter. For me, that counts for a lot. I'm used to people telling me I need to calm down, that I need to temper myself.
With him, well. We're a mess when we're together. Everyone turns and stares at the pair racing through the building, devoured by giggles.
If even for just that reason alone, a piece of me will always look at him in a good light.
A piece of me will always know him as the boy that's as silly and awkward and strange and quick to laugh as me.
(P.S. but jesus fucking christ)