Month: May 2014

  • shared

    Then I heard your heart beating.
    You were in the darkness too...
    so I stayed in the darkness with you.

    - Florence + the Machine, Cosmic Love

    -+-

    Phoenix, AZ.

    Heather described, "There are some people where you can be apart for months or years... you can be apart for a really long time, and when you're together, you pick up right where you left off like nothing happened."

    I turned to Jacob with what I can only describe as urgency.  I knew that we were down to our final hours together before I would have to fly away to San Diego.  I could feel my heart stuck in my throat.  I couldn't pinpoint my emotions.  Dread?  Fondness?  Longing?

    I told him, "I think you and I have that."

    He nodded, "Every time we see each other, it's exactly the same."

    -+-

    "Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief."

    -- Swedish Proverb

    While my own mind is discombubulated, finally regaining my awareness of the people around me has been rewarding.  Not even necessarily because it's been a while since I've enjoyed their company, but because I am realizing, "My dear god, we need each other."

    She broke up with her boyfriend.  He was dumped by his fiancee.  He is battling depression.  She is fighting loneliness.

    I don't know how often I reassured various people throughout the week, "I'm here for you."

    It's strange to see hardship as a silver lining, but our mutual tribulations give a sense of solidarity -- even if I don't necessarily tell them about the empty tummy feelings and sad french fry cravings on my side.

    None of us are alone, and that's incredibly satisfying.  Maybe I should be more worried about everyone, but I'm not (although considering my history with stress-induced illnesses, that's probably a really really good thing).

    That's because I know we'll stand together.

  • snowglobe

    There's an awful lot of breathing room,
    but I can hardly move.

    - Matchbox Twenty, If You're Gone

    -+-

    I walked towards Price Center for some boba tea, when I noticed a distinctive wiggling amidst the debris. As I came closer, my suspicions were confirmed. It was a little honeybee, limping in a retarded waggle dance.

    If it wasn't for my acute eye for bees, I probably would've mistaken her with the yellow debris and grass slowly blowing through the sidewalk, and was en route to stepping on her. I enthusiastically decided, "I'm going to save this bee!" After all, I just got negative test results for bee sting allergies from Kaiser. Nothing could possibly get in my way.

    I gently coaxed the bee onto my work ID card and moved her next to a bush. Immediately, she returned to that patch of land on the sidewalk. I repeated my action, putting her next to a nearby tree. Again, she returned to that patch on the sidewalk.

    I yelled at her, "BEE, you are what is WRONG with colony collapse disorder, you're all DRUGGED up on them neonicotinoids and now you SUCK and someone is going to STEP ON YOU if you won't let me help you!!"

    She just continued with her retarded waggle on the sidewalk. I knew it was time to call it. I gave up, turned around, and went back to my boba journey.

    We can't win it all, bee. We can't win it all.

    -+-

    I am not a private person.

    I don't have a particularly private mind, and I'm not good at secrecy.

    A lot of it is unintentional. I may very well be one of the easiest people to read. If I feel an emotion, my face probably shows it. Not on some shifty microexpression level either -- if there are classes on reading expressions, I would probably make a good intro course.

    On an electronic level, I'd be lucky if my words were half as transparent as my smile, or my pout, or my furrowed brow.

    I don't say that lightly. I used to hate how predictable I am. I hated how linear I seemed -- I felt boring and dull. I was jealous of people that had so many layers to them. They would have no end to their mystery, while my mystery ends the moment you make eye contact with me.

    Over time, a mix of good company, tribulation, and maturity would help me grow into my own skin. My self-esteem finally fit the curves of my body, and my laugh finally fit the joy I felt internally.

    With my blog being more than twelve years old, this Xanga followed me through most of this journey. I used to love that only people who read my blog really knew me -- it felt like I was adding a layer of mystery to my life. Shy on the outside, with my heart worn only on my Xanga -- "Blog like no one's reading."

    Where my heart was previously only on these electronic pages, I now try to wear my heart everywhere.  Regardless, I admit that I kind of miss my online transparency.  I miss having all my cards out on the table.  Now, I know just how terrible my poker face is, and I've come to embrace it.  I could either be full of depth and layers, or I could be one hell of a snowglobe.

    "Swag on, Christa."

    tl;dr i know i haven't been updating much lately and hope to start blogging more lol

    -+-

    P.S.

    Yesterday, I came into work and was very visibly out of it. It was my first day back on the job since my trip to Arizona, and my first day in almost three weeks knowing that I wouldn't see Jacob after work (which, I'm sure, actually quickly explains why I haven't been updating recently).

    Chris, our Master's student, came in later that day. His mind was also obviously not focused on lab, and honestly, I was thankful for that. My state of mind gave me no room for empathy.  I simply did not care about asking him about his life.  I did not have the mental energy to ask him what was wrong, and I was glad that he also lacked the capacity to pry into my mood.

    So we simply let each other mope.  We let each other have a slow start to our Tuesday, and I was grateful for it.

  • the day i made my mom cry

    You're crazy and I'm out of my mind.

    - John Legend, All of Me

    -+-

    We stood in the elevator to the airport terminal, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

    He asked me, "Are you okay?"

    I choked back tears and forced a smile, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just getting a little sentimental."

    He took my shoulder and pulled me closer, "Aw, gurl."

    -+-

    Belated post from May 16th, 2014. Between 11pm and midnight.

    MOM (Picks up a pair of heart-shaped, diamond-studded earrings.): Do you want these earrings?

    DAUGHTER (Hesitantly.): Uh... how much are those worth?  I tend to lose earrings really often.  See these?  (Points to ears.) Five bucks at the mall.

    MOM: Maybe two grand?  Don't worry about it, you need to wear something nice if you're attending a wedding.

    DAUGHTER: Two grand?!  Mom, I'd wear those to my wedding.

    (Laughter.)

    DAD: So when's this wedding you're talking about?

    DAUGHTER: Well, I don't even have a boyfriend yet, so not for a while! (Laughs.)

    (DAUGHTER grabs a piece of paper and a pen.)

    DAUGHTER: Actually... mom, sit with me!  I want to show you something. (MOM sits.) Since we're on the topic of weddings and whatnot, I know that you're really looking forward to having a grandchild someday. (MOM nods.) Well, since I don't even have a boyfriend yet, I can't give you a grandkid for a really, really long time, but here's something I can give you. (Holds up pen and paper.) Have I already told you what I want to name my daughter? (MOM shakes her head.) So I've planned it for years, maybe five years now. You know how girls are with planning their kids' names and their weddings and whatnot.

    (DAUGHTER writes "Aerilyn" on the paper.)

    DAUGHTER: So "Aerilyn" is originally written with a "y," but I replaced it with an "i" to spell "Aerilin."

    (DAUGHTER crosses out "Aerilyn" and replaces with "Aerilin." She adds "Danielle" to write "Aerilin Danielle." She holds it up to MOM.)

    DAUGHTER: Aerilin Danielle.  That's what I'm naming my daughter someday.  Do you know why I'm naming her that?

    MOM (Shakes her head.): No, why?

    (DAUGHTER takes the pen and underlines part of the name written on the paper.  The paper now reads "Aerilin Danielle" to highlight MOM's name, ERLINDA.)

    MOM: That's beautiful.

    DAUGHTER: I'm naming my daughter after you.

    MOM (Chokes up.): I'm so happy.  Even after I die, my name... (Trails off.)

    DAUGHTER: Even though I'm not going to be able to give you a grandchild until a long, long time from now... know that someday, your granddaughter is going to be named after you.

    MOM (Crying, wiping away tears.): Thank you, sweetie.

    DAUGHTER (Takes MOM's shoulder and pulls her closer.): Happy belated Mother's Day, mom.

  • with a side of popcorn chicken

    Close your eyes and see it glisten, Barnaby.
    Listen, Barnaby…

    - Hello, Dolly!, Put On Your Sunday Clothes

    -+-

    -- "I hate everything!"
    "Christa, that's the biggest lie I've EVER heard."
    -- "Teehee, that's true!!" *giggles*

    -+-

    This week is one of those weeks where my wits are not about me. I am always tired and never hungry. I imagined myself bouncing back this week, after being sick with a nasty cold last week. But my PCR samples are almost a week old now, and I feel like I’ve achieved very little this week.

    The good is very, very good. I spent this past week with friends, almost non-stop for the last several days. Life felt well-paced, but I think the best part is that never, ever do I feel lonely these days. At lab, I have amazing co-workers that I get along with really well. I have old friends from undergrad and high school in town, and we try to spend time together when possible. I have new friends from my time here in San Diego, and we also find time for beers and happy hours. Even when those people are all not around, I have my sister a Google message away, and all my old friends and loved ones are all just a text message or a webcam call away. Work is great, and life is great. I am learning how to count my blessings.

    However, if something has huge weight for me, I can get stressed very easily. I am currently stressed very easily. But this is the part where I just suck it the fuck up, because that’s the kind of thing you have to do when something’s bigger than you. This is bigger than me.

    I was actually supposed to have a date today. He cancelled, and while that in itself is not very promising (in conjunction with the dwindling frequency in our text messages, but that’s another deal entirely), but I am secretly incredibly thankful for the opportunity to finally have some time for myself, and just chill. To just breathe. I’m currently sitting in the main student center of UCSD, eating popcorn chicken and boba. Blogging over a passion fruit black tea. This is alright. Right? Right. Breathe in the good air. Right.

    That’s right. I needed chicken.

    I have my eyes on the prize for tomorrow. I will come into lab in the morning, and I will dominate my PCR samples. I will go to my on-call meeting and dominate my lab meeting. I will run into whats-his-face and he will be like omg wow christa is so so fine and I’ll be like lol noob and walk away. Then I will go to lab and dominate my mousework. And I will learn western blotting and dominate this fuuuucking webcam chat and all will be awesome. I can see it now.

    This has been a hell of a week so far, and it’s only Wednesday.

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu