July 26, 2012

• the face at the end of the road

  Note: This is an inebriated blog post.  Judge accordingly.

  also: so was the last post. lolsandiego

  -+-

  I've learned over time that I have a good "confessional" level of inebriated -- the kind where I am spouting off secrets if I don't evaluate them in my mind's eye as worth keeping a secret; i.e. if they're exclusively about myself, where they would not intrude on anyone's privacy and trust.

  My roommate definitely knows about my history with depression as much as I have ranted about all my boy problems, whether they be close to here or close to home. 

  I swirled the cup of whiskey in my hand and grunted, "Yeah, I just saw on Facebook that my ex is in Japan right now.  I dunno about that guy.  I'm glad though, because I was actually planning on going to Japan with him.  Now I'm glad that I'm not there, or else I wouldn't have ended up here.  It's amazing here."

  It's almost always beautiful to meet such a stranger - where you can tell them every horrid secret that you've had cooped up, because you don't have to worry about it getting around town - the only person they would talk about it with is, well, you.  I'm now on the last stretch of my internship, and that has thrown in another factor to the uninhibited conversations: I don't need to care about what anyone thinks of me, because I won't see any of these people anymore in less than three weeks.  It's okay if I embarrass myself with those funny voices, quirks, and oddities - I feel very free to be myself in a variety of situations, and that's been lovely.  I understand the lack of inhibition that is frequently the connotation of summertime.

  Tomorrow, a gorgeous dinner and a night out in the town with my roommate.

  Until then, I'll cherish the little blessings that I've got to carry recently - that one boy taking time out of his morning for me, and the ceaselessly amazing times that I've been having in the lab.  Today, I sat at my desk thinking about how weird it's going to be to not see these lab benches anymore in three weeks.

  Life is beautiful, life is beautiful!

  • 4:35 am
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