July 18, 2012

  • forget

    So I cross my heart, and I hope to die
    That I'll only stay with you one more night.

    -Maroon 5, One More Night

    -+-

    It took me back to December of 2011, back when a catfish sat across from me.

    "Do you realize how much your eyes sparkle when you talk about your lab?  It's really cute."

    -+-

    I am in the most fortunate position possible: at first thought, I actually couldn't remember all of the reasons that I mentally crashed last Tuesday.  It took a bit of sitting and pondering, "Man, what got me so messed up?"

    I'm hoping that it's a nice reflection of the smooth sails that I've had since then, and not that I'm traumatically blocking it out, haha!

    On that fateful Tuesday, I had a lot of personal and social issues going on culminating from this mile-a-minute summer, and on top of that, a guy hit my car and proceeded to blame it on me and wanted me to pay for his damages that he caused!  I called my best friend in Merced in search of comfort, but I ended the phone call bawling and yelling at him.  At that point, I threw up my hands and went, "Man, eff this, the world sucks!"

    After that rough night, I woke up afresh in the morning and took on each challenge one at a time, rather than absorbing them all at one time as one spectacular wave of horror.  Everything became more feasible to deal with, and before I knew it, I'm now looking back and having trouble remembering exactly what was wrong.

    "Ohhhh, that's what it was!  That's right.  That happened."

    -+-

    Now, a quick-write on what is literally going on in my head.  Because it's so mundane that I really wanted to document it:

    God.

    I hate this sandwich.

    It looks way better than it tastes.  My god.  I was so excited when I was making this sandwich.  Like damn, pepper jack cheese and roasted chicken breast?  I got this down. I got this.

    But I think I hate this bread.  It's really gritty.  It has nuts baked into it, which sounded amazing in concept, but it tastes really strong and it's overwhelming my cheese and meat.  So every bite tastes like just bread.  And I get sad because I can see you, my cheese and my meat, but I cannot taste you, for this bread monster has trapped you in its bready bready wrath.  And oh, as I try to rescue you, the bread is too strong for me.  I cannot defeat this bread.  I am only but a girl.

    :'(

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