July 2, 2012
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today and everyday
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only cab on the road.
- Train, Cab
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"I've never had my heart broken. In that sense, you are much more of an adult than I am."
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I saw Train perform live and it was amazing.
Train songs have led me through a lot in life in the past year, but one special fact is that Train was a huge contribution to the end of the Old Life.
I glowed with joy as Pat Monahan sang the songs that I have spent months cheerily singing in my car, but when the lights went bright and he sang "Marry Me," that was a truly special moment for me.
My sister was super sisterly and came with me to the concert, so I turned to her during "Marry Me," and told her, "This is the song that made me give up on Phuc!"
The lovely Mr. Monahan crooned, "Together can never be close enough for me, to feel like I am close enough with you. You wear white and I'll wear out the words, 'I love you,' and, 'You're beautiful.'"
I continued, "I used to listen to this song on repeat while driving to Davis, just crying and thinking, 'Phuc doesn't feel this way about me.'"
She replied, aghast, "Now this song is super sad!"
For a long time, it's been a very sad song for me, which is inappropriate for something so pretty. I grew up dreaming about marriage since I was fifteen, so to hear a song that struck such a chord with my dreams and values, only to also inspire the realization that I couldn't connect this song with the man I loved - that was a doozy.
That song is now full of history and triumph. It illustrates both the hardships that I faced in the Old Life, and the love that is still yet to come.
Also: "OMG IT'S PAT MONAHAN, AH LUB PAT MONAHAN OMGGGGGG"