Rate yourself and rake yourself.
Take all the courage you have left
wasted on fixing all the problems 
that you made in your own head.

- Mumford & Sons, Little Lion Man

-+-

-- "Don't burn out!  I know from experience how unpleasant that is."
"How did you get yourself out of it, Christa?"
-- "Well... I had people like you."

-+-

I'm the exact opposite.  I can't stand that spot.

I think that's one of the beauties of humanity that I'm thankful for.  We all have our own distinctively different ways of being human, all the while having more overlap than any of us could ever imagine.

I am also thankful for learning that "being human" does not always imply "being weak."  It does not necessarily have to mean sin and vice.  It is not always so criminal.

For example, there's so much humanity in touch.  Skin against skin.  The tactile sensation of fingertips against arm.  Of cheek against cheek.  It's like sunshine.

Yet sometimes, nothing compares to the warmth of a smile.  Not your standard photo perfect smile, no.  The smile where you feel hearts turn aglow, the smile where the colors of the world just become a little more radiant.  It's one of those things, y'know?  It's the kind of thing that makes you forget everything else.  Everything can be going to shit, everything in the entire world can feel like it's against you, but it's that warmth, it's that humanity that pulls you out of all your self-doubt, all your hesitation, and all your inhibition.

Some wicks burn faster than others, and some candles make me feel warmer than others.  Some fall onto the realm of sparks, while others still are a blazing fire.  But nonetheless, every flame is beautiful.  Every ember brings ardor.  

They capture you.  They seem to transcend reality, in the way that you cannot grasp them, yet you can feel them.

You feel that blaze, and that burn makes you wonder how you ever believed it to be fictional.  How could you ever let it be stolen away from you?

But finally, you realized that you were just a lamb, just a poor little thing eaten by a wolf in sheep's clothing.  You succumbed to self-doubt, hesitation, and inhibition.  But then, you realized that you've fought wolves in past lives, and that it is a battle that you have won before.

So you'll win it again.  You'll not only reclaim that fire, but you'll reclaim your humanity.

You spent a month looking over your own shoulder, but now... now, never look back.

I believe in you.  You've got this, soldier.