December 3, 2006

• Closing Night

  Hey.

  Today was, as the title probably implies, closing night for Scapin.  It never really struck me throughout the entire night, that it'd be the last time I'd see that house, the last time I'd see Phuc beat Matt brutally, the last time that I'd be backstage, giggling at every joke as it never seems to get old.  After the show, I left my jacket in the classroom and retrieved it alone--or tried to, rather, seeing that the classroom was closed--and suddenly had this empty pit in my chest.  Although likely an unknown script to most of the rest of the world, Scapin is truly a play worth celebrating, a memory worth cherishing, but closing night felt like the end of an era.  It felt like a sort of graduation, yet odd because I'd see these exact people around school just the following weekday.  There'd be no more rehearsals, no more laughing backstage with these people, the best cast.  Ever.  It was a complex feeling.  It was like wanting to cry, yet there's nothing to cry about.

  Regardless, I came home, sat down upon my computer, and cried.  It wasn't a devastating sob, just a few tears that I could not fight and blink away.  I realized that I didn't cry at Middle School graduation, not at the end of Midsummer, not when I moved away.  They always felt like bittersweet "See you later"s.  Yet tears fell at the thought of losing these rehearsals, this laughter, these memories, the feelings of rushing backstage over any askew detail.  Matt, Zahra, Kathy, Amber, Amanda, Amanda dos o_o, Brandon, Aldo, Celebration, Presha, Faison, Adam, Stefan, Deondre, Christine, Melanie, Daniel, Gracie, Bebe, Joel, Miz Townsend.  People from Scapin's cast and crew.  These are truly great people.

  And the Phuc.  The lead, the Scapin, the boyfriend.  I don't think I've ever really realized, really dug so deep to truly understand what a phenomenal young man he is.  Yeah, I've done the classic mushy girlfriend talk, but Phuc has so many amazing attributes as not just a boyfriend, but a person.  Tonight, the cast and crew gave Phuc a customized shirt with "Scapin" written on it, and as I stood there, applauding, I stepped out of my shell and felt like a third person, not seeing him as the boyfriend, but as this person who I can not just imagine, but truly believe will be one of the few people in the future that will not look back at his life and regret the years he's spent.  Not to berate myself as inferior in any way, but it truly felt like a privilege to just stand there next to him, this classroom celebrity that everyone, everyone sees something worth admiring in him.  It was so strong a feeling that the idea of me actually being this person's girlfriend seemed preposterous, with this disbelief when he held my hand as we left the classroom.  No, mind you, I don't feel like I don't deserve him, but "lucky", I'm sure, isn't near the right word.  Being by his side really is a privilege, one that fate and faith alike allowed me to borrow and maybe even keep as mine.  He stands there on stage for two hours as Scapin and leaves people with their breaths taken.  He leaves me swept off my feet everyday.  He really is a wily son of a gun.

  Indeed.  A comedy requires this sort of thing.

  Today's lesson: It is your decision to whether life is a comedy or a tragedy.

  The cast and crew. :]  But why does Xanga make the quality so bad?  *intends to fix*
  

  Bye for now.

  Good night, Scapin.

  • 2:13 am
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