Hey!

With the companion of a self-degrading "oh. my. freakin'. gawd, you have got to be kidding me!", it's New Year's Eve, and guess where I'm going to be at midnight!!  Hint hint, I was there on Christmas: let me help you remember.. overwhelming aromas of tobacco and that simply delightful endless drone of "ching ching ching ching!" (or uh, something to that effect).  My new year will have its grand opening in the walls of Thunder Valley Casino, my parents somewhere on the premises challenging destiny with the thin line between going home with a certain air that spells a pungent "We lost" and a joyous "Let's paint the city red! Christa, here's some money!  Buy yourself some candy." (which i, unashamed, do use to buy candy.)

Oh, the new year.  Out of curiosity, I checked out what I wrote on New Year's last year, and I thought my little tidbit on New Year's resolutions was pretty clever:  "I lack New Year's resolutions this year.  I decided that resolutions shouldn't be made just for the sake of the New Year, but should circulate throughout the year, for the sake of becoming a better person, whenever the ambititon comes to mind.  Not just on January 1st."  I like to acknowledge that that was true in 2005, and for kicks, I'll keep that going for 2006.  Actually, I've come up with at least one resolution: Stop killing Phuc's phone bill.

Which reminds me: Somewhere in my myspace (<-- now that's just shameless self-advertising), there is a certain BOLD-FACED LIE (why is it even there? it's still a mystery. foosh.).  So please stop comforting me with, "I know, I know, you don't have to lie to me.  You try to make up these happy wonderful stories about you two, but please Christa.. you gotta move on now!  This is unhealthy!"

Good day to you all.  Happy New Year's Eve.

Today's lesson:  If you can't find it, then simply look again.

i want to be with you.. be with you night and day

Bye for now.

Heylo.

First off, this is a really interesting article that you should read in full, despite its uber length: Talking to God.. It's about a man who apparently, as the title suggests, talks to God.

And now, my life.  I'm sick again!  I haven't been sick since eighth grade.  That's gotta be a record.  I'm awfully proud of my white blood cells for fighting for my good health for this long.  I have this awful fever that causes my environment to constantly shift from uber uber cold to hot like all hells.  My head is killing me, I lack an appetite, and although I'm extremely sleepy and tired, I simply can't fall asleep for some bizarre reason.  So of course, I'm on the computer.  Whee!

I had this lengthy thing to talk about, but now I'm lazy.  Perhaps tomorrow. Bear with me.

Today's lesson: Give yourself a break every now and then.  God knows you need it.

i see no bravery in your eyes.. only sadness

Bye for now.

Good morning.

On all levels imaginable, it doesn't feel like it's the end of the year to me.  It doesn't feel like an entire year has just passed. 

It feels like just yesterday, I was promoted from eighth grade.  That just yesterday, I was traveling to Las Vegas and Disneyland.  That just yesterday, I made the life-changing move from the Bay Area to the welcoming arms of Monterey Trail High School, to new friends, to love. That just yesterday, I was crying and screaming at the top of my lungs, hopping around in my Homer Simpson slippers and in my Gir cape, "Goodbye 2004!  Goodbye!"

This year disappeared in the blink of an eye.  ..Time flies when you're having fun.  Four more days until 2006.  Four more days until the end of 2005.

It's amazing.

Today, however, stands on its own, for its own reasons that the two of us know.

Today's lesson: There's nothing quite like a wish come true.

our love can make disaster fade away

Bye for now.

I know QUITE the party.

I fell asleep last evening and just woke up.  Seventeen hours of sleep on Christmas day!  Oh my god.  Reminds me of Thanksgiving. Goal: Not to do this on New Year's Day.

That is all.

Hey there.

First off, happy birthday to Jesus.  Indeed.

My family from San Jose has been up here since two days ago and just left, so the majority of the Christmas spirit within me has slightly diminished because the size of the family here with me has been cut in half.  Mind you, it's not completely gone -- the masses of Christmas songs on the radio, the countless Christmas specials, the cute little celebration I see every time I visit Google.com.

Today was a strange day -- waking up at ten in the morning to open presents, marking the very first Christmas in which I don't awake in the early hours of the day for a grand meal.  Instead, our "grand meal" was breakfast at Chow King, the Filipino food place at the Seafood Marketplace, followed by a trip to the infamous Thunder Valley Casino, which was surprisingly crowded beyond imagination. 

However, there was something undeniably "Christmas" about it, simply in the presence of my family.  It was satisfying to witness, for the first time in months, years of difference in age means nothing, even in the long drought of witness to familiar family arguments.

So yes.  I enjoyed today.  Despite the lack of grandeur and the smell of lung cancer (aka cigs) in the air, I enjoyed today.

Today's lesson Oh, before I leave:  Merry Christmas, world.

they're singing deck 'o' halls, but it's not like christmas at all -- baby, please come home

Bye for now.

Hey dude, America is hecka broke:

http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/

Courtesy of Phuc.

I died in a car crash two days ago
Was unrecognizable
When they pulled me from the gears
No one's fault, no one's bottle
No one's teenage pride or throttle
Our innocence is all the worse for fears
The other walked away alive
Arms wrapped now around his wife

My lover sits, the silent eye
In a hurricane of warmth and word
My mother trembles with the sobs
Whose absence seems absurd
My sister shouts to let her see
Through the cloud of crowd surrounding me
My colleagues call for silence in my name

I died in a car crash three months ago
They burned me until I glowed
And crumbled to a fine gray sand
Now I am nothing, everywhere
Several breaths of strangers' air
And all thoughts ever written in my hand
They plant my tree out in the yard
It grows but takes the winter hard

My lover holds a knife to wrist
Says tomorrow comes, hold on a while
My mother tosses in the sheets
And dreams me holding my own child
My sister plays our homemade tapes
Laughs as tears run down her face
My office door now wears a different name

I died in a car crash four years ago
My tree drinks melted snow
Just eight feet tall a pale and fragile thing
Bee stings beaches bright vacations
Sunburnt high-school graduations
A sparrow healing from a broken wing
This year a glimpse of second chances
Tiny apples on my tree's branches

My lover hears the open wind
And crawls blinking into the sun
My mother leafs through photographs
And thinks "Yes, she was a lovely one."
My sister can't decide her truth
Asks aloud what I might do
In a conference hall my brief efforts engraved

I died in a car crash
A lifetime ago it seems
A decade or two or three
They've come out with a new design
Bars and bags front and behind
My fate now an impossibility
Safely packaged hurtling down
The highway hardly make a sound

My lover very much alive
Arms wrapped now around his wife

 

-Vienna Teng

Whooo!

Stolen from Samanta Caasi!  

1. What is your middle name? DeGuzman
2. Last person you saw? If she counts, my cat.  If not, my mom.
3. What are you listening to right now? >.>.. Lindsay Lohan - Confessions of a Broken Heart
4. Last two digits of your phone? 35
5. Last thing you ate? I'm CURRENTLY eating noodles.
6. Last person you hugged? Mr. Phuc "Taco-man" Le.
7. How is the weather right now? RAIN and WIND.
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Lisa Le!
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? At a glance, their jacket (what, i'm serious), eyes, and if close enough, their facial hair.  Kidding on the third.  Honest third: enthusiasm.
10. Favorite type of food? Ramen noooodles.
11. Favorite type of drink? Starbucks -- Vanilla Bean or Caramel Frappacino with a bottle of Jole's Blackberry or Melon soda on the side.
12. Do you smoke? No, SIR!
13. Favorite tv show? Currently House.  For like, the last ever.  An "of all time" contendent is The Simpsons.
14. Hair color? It SHOULD be black, but as of late I've been noticing that it's more of a dark brown..
15. Eye color? Deep brown.  I like to say they're umber.
16. Do you wear contacts? No.  I'm a glasses-because-i'm-hecka-near-sighted type of gal.
17. Favorite Holiday? Christmas, c'mon now.
18.Whens your Birthday? January Seventh.
19. Have you ever cried for no reason? Why yes, yes I have.
20. What was the last movie you watched? Oh God, why do you do this to me, I have no clue.. um.. if that ecstasy video in Health class doesn't count, then I suppose Elizabethtown.  Whoa, that was a hecka long time ago.
21.Last time you were at work? In my PAST LIFE.  I've been living unemployed so far.
22. Last time you were out of state? THIS SUMMAH!  Went to Las Vegas.. 
23. Last time you went bowling? The last time I went with Joeve, Chocolate, and Daniel.
24. Something unusual about you? Everything to me has a story.  Everything.
25. Favorite breakfast food? As of late, hash browns from Phuc's tray.  Besides that, I like that almond cereal with milk.
26. Favorite color? The slur that is GrOrYe.
27. What are you afraid of? Oh, um.  Do I need to list all of them?  A few that strikes me at the moment are elevators, needles, clowns, death, getting Alzheimer's, ducks if they get too close to me, and forgetting about everything that has value to me now.
28. If you could take a trip anywhere where would it be? New York, New York.
29. What books are you reading? Sarah Dessen's "Someone Like You" and Daniel Sedaris' "Me Talk Pretty One Day"
30. Number of peircings? 2--one on each ear.
31. Favorite movie? Spirited Away and Dog of Flanders.  Perhaps Finding Neverland as well.
32. Favorite football Team? I am the non-football watching girl.  If this requires an answer nonetheless, my family supports the San Francisco 49'ers.
33. What were you doing before you filled this out? YOU KNOW WHAT, NOW I DON'T REMEMBER.  I think I was eating noodles.
34. Any pets? A cat named E.D. and a mouse named Algernon.
35. AIM? Yes.  Locate me as OrAnGeYoH.
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Butter and salted.  Me arteries hate me.
37. Dogs or cat? I have to say cat, so that I don't hurt Ed's feelings.
38. Favorite Flower? White Tiger Lilies and orange roses.  I also have an attachment to blue roses and forget-me-nots.
39. Have you ever been caught doing something you werent supposed to? WHY YES, YES I HAVE.
40. Are you single or taken? I am so taken.
41.Have you ever loved someone? I love someone right now.
42. Who would you like to see right now? PHUC!  And eeeveryone from San Jose.  I wanna just go down one day and see them all in the same room and we all talk over bowls of Chex Mix.
43. Are you still friends with your ex's? Nope.  Shame, isn't it?
44. Have you ever fired a gun? NO!  Not besides a water gun, nuh-uh.
45. Do you like to travel by plane? Yes.  As long as I don't, how do I eloquently put this.. die.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right-handed.
47. If you can be with someone right now, who would it be? Phuc.  =D
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.  And a duck.
49. Are you missing someone? YES, I AM.
50. Do you have a Tattoo? Nopers.
51. Do you still watch cartoons on saturday mornings? No.. but I'll start again now.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

JANUARY.
1. did you have a new year's resolution this past year? Nope.
2.Who kissed you at midnight? No one.  Perhaps my wall.  ACCIDENTALLY, mind you.  I'm not THAT crazy.
3. does it snow where you live? Nuhuh.  ::cries::
4. do you like hot chocolate? Yes.  Yes I do.
5. have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop? NO BUT I WANT TO.

~February~

1. who was your valentine in 2005? Didn't have one.  IF IT COUNTS, then .. ::ahem::
2. what did your valentine get you?  A thank-you and a really warm smile.  At the time, it was enough.
3. when you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class?  Haha, yes.

~March~

1. are you Irish? No.  BUT IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF I WERE!  Why?  I don't know.
2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day? YES I DO!
3.what did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2005? Shopping.

~April~

1. Do you like the rain? Yepperss.
2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year? Noo.  But people played jokes on me!  >__<
3. do you get tons of candy on easter? I GOT-- none.

~May~

1. What's your favorite kind of flower? White tiger lilies, forget-me-nots, and roses.
3. Do you like the spring? YES I DOOOO!
4. Finish the phrase: April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring? May flowers send surging laughter to quench the thirst for love that the world so needs.  Tried to keep the rhythm going.
5. What would you think of as a spring color? Yellow, orange, and green.

~June~

1. What year did/do you graduate from school? In 2009!
2. Did you go on any vacations last June? Yosemite Nat'l Park

~July~

1. What did you do on the 4th of July? Thunder Valley Casino.  >.>
3. do you go on any vacations during this month? Towards the end of July, I went to Las Vegas and Disneyland.

~August~

1. did you do anything special to end off your summer? Watched "That 70's Show"!  Yes, hecka awesome.
2. what was your favorite summer memory of '05? Las Vegas/Disneyland combo, hands down.
3. do you go swimming a lot in the summer? No, but I went for a little bit at Las Vegas.
4.Do you go to the beach a lot? Nuh-uh.

~September~

1. Did you attend school/college in '05? Yes, I did.
2. who is/was your favorite teacher?  Mrs. Choate, my kinder/1st grade teacher, and Mr. Weber, my 7th Lang. Arts/Reading teacher.
3. do you like fall better than summer? Yes.

~October~

1. what was your favorite halloween costume ever? The now-famous Snow White costume from the second grade.
2. what's your favorite candy? Iuno..  M&Ms. 
3. what did you dress up like this year? I DRESSED LIKE A CHRISTA!  ^^

~November~

1. whose house do you usually go to for thanksgiving? My own home.
2. Do you like stuffing? I've never tried..
3. what are you thankful for? This year: Phuc, friends, LIFE, MOOLAH, family, wishes, and for the little things in life.

~December~

1. do you celebrate christmas? YES I DO!
2. have you ever been kissed under mistletoe? Nope.  But that's adorable!  Kissing underneath the most romantic tree parasite in history.
3. What do you want for christmas this year? Like every year: a blue chicken.
4. what's the best present you ever got for Christmas? EVERYTHING WAS SPIFFY!
5. do you like cold weather? Yesh.  Unless I die from it.  Then no.

BAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stolen from Amber Jackson!

LAYER ONE
-- Name: Christa Caneda.
-- Birthday: January 7th, 1991
-- Birthplace: Santa Teresa
-- Current Location: Sacramento
-- Eye color: Brown.
-- Hair color: Dark Brown.. or black..
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty.
-- Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

LAYER TWO
-- Heritage: Filipino.
-- Shoes you wore today: These hecka nice slippers.
-- Your weakness: Little thoughtful things.  And food.
-- Your fears:  Let's copy and paste from the previous survey.. "A few that strikes me at the moment are elevators, needles, clowns, death, getting Alzheimer's, ducks if they get too close to me, and forgetting about everything that has value to me now." 
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To know where I'm going in life.  I don't even need to GET there at the moment, but I'd like to know exactly where I'm going.

LAYER THREE
-- Most overused phrase : "::gasps:: I'm appalled!"
-- First thought when waking up: "Oh my god, what time is it?"
-- Best physical feature: O_o.. um.. Oh, Panouchee says it's my smile.
-- Bedtime:  Around mid-night thirtyish.  Or when Phuc tells me to sleep.

LAYER FOUR (do you)
-- Smoke: No!
-- Curse: I TRY NOT TO.  Occasionally it slips out.
-- Sing-in the car: Yes.  And dance, too.
-- Shower: Yes.
-- Crush: ANTS.  With my pinky.
-- Think you've been in love : I THINK so..
-- Want to go to college: Yeah.
-- Like high school: Yes, I do.  Uberly.
-- Want to get married: MMHMM!
-- Think you're attractive: No..

LAYER SIX (in the past month have you)
-- Drank alcohol: Nope.
-- Smoked: Nuuu.
-- Done drugs: Noooo.
-- Had sex: Noooooo.
-- Made out: Per..haps..
-- Gone to the mall: Yesh.
-- Been on stage: I HAD A GRAND MOMENT ON STAGE!  I took the blanket off for "A Midsummer's Night Dream."  Wait, that was more than a month ago.  Then no.
-- Made homemade cookies: Not in the past month..  >_>; no oven..
-- Gone skinny dipping: Nope.  I don't think I ever have.
-- Dyed your hair: No.

LAYER SEVEN (ever)
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing? No!
-- If so, was it mixed company: N/A due to the REFUSAL of the last question.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Nope.
-- Been caught "doing something": WHAT IS "DOING SOMETHING"?!  O_o
-- Been called a tease: No.  I don't think so.  Yeah, no no, I haven't.
-- Gotten beaten up: Phuc beat me up with his dorky windmills.  Besides that, no.
-- Shoplifted: YES!  ::cries::
-- Changed who you were to fit in: I think so when I was younger.. NOT ANYMORE, MIND YOU.  I am Christa.  Pssh.

LAYER EIGHT(want?)
-- Number of children: Two!
-- Dream Wedding: Hecka flowers.  I want a giant bear in a tuxedo somewhere, and I want to dance to U2's "In A Little While."  And Joeve must be there.  That's all I have planned so far.
-- How do you want to die: Saving someone.
-- Where do you want to go to college: I don't know yet.  The dream: Stanford. 
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I DON'T KNOWWW!  Maybe a UNICEF ambassador or a teacher. 

LAYER NINE
-- Last car ride: With my parents.
-- Last romantic kiss: I suppose.. Friday.
-- Last good cry: GOOD cry is perhaps two or three weeks ago.  Cry in general is Friday.
-- Last book read: I think the last full book is.. wow, that was a long time ago, "Fault Line" by Janet Tashjian.
-- Last crush: Phuc.  Which has now bloomed well.
-- Last phone call: Lisa.
-- Last time showered: Yesterday morning.
-- Last cd played: Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day"
-- Last song downloaded: "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. 
-- Last annoyance: THAT CAT
-- Last disappointment: Maybe.. HER..
-- Last soda drink: RIGHT NOW!  ::flaunts my 7-up::
-- Last sleep: Last night.
-- Last IM: Mr. Weber.
-- Last time wanting to die: I've never wanted to DIE, per se.
-- Last time hugged: Friday.
-- Last time you were slapped in the ass: ::ahem:: Friday as well.
-- Last lipstick used: Lip BALM last night.
-- Last time someone made you cry: Fridaayyy..
-- Last time someone wrote something sweet to you: Oh, I'm not sure..  Everything is a slur of sweet.
-- Last time someone.... :  EHHHHHH?
-- Last time dancing: This morning.
-- Last show attended: I watched Mamma Mia! in early November.

 

..that is all.

Hi.

Okay, okay okay.  Omigoodness.  I just came back from this crazed out arcade.  And the Dance Dance Revolution scene is intimidating.  THEM PEOPLE ALL STEPPY.  It's, when broken down, simply stepping in accordance to arrows to a set music.  Yet it requires (i hate spelling that word because ever since cactus daniel i misspell it as "requiere") so much.. STEPPINESS.  Fluency, coordination, beat, rhythm, that distinct ability to get your groove on with those arrows!  DDR is this insane world of arrows, yet it attracts thousands of players internationally and it's just absolutely boggling yet intimidating.  Okay.  Fine.  I'm on the topic, so I'm going to admit it, goodness.  I'm part of the DDR scene.  I can't walk straight and I have the balance of a wilty blade of grass on a very windy day, but I'm part of the absolutely BOGGLING INTIMIDATY DDR scene.  I'm not great at it, but I'm good enough to attract an audience and for people to challenge me.. and I'm generally WHUPPED.  Them people are hecka steppy, that's why.  Heeeeecka steppy.

CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN!!  WHOOOOOOO!!!!  I love this time of year because it's just so CHEERY!  All the lights and decorations.  I love being able to say, "Happy Holidays!" to like, EVERYONE, and I like when they get either smiley and cheery, grouchy (that reaction i don't like so much), or confused and caught off guard (simply because it's intriguing).  School's out now, and I love the way it ended.  There was just this overall good feeling.  I spent the entire school day smiling.  Ms. Ross was taking roll and gave me an odd look because I had this grin on my face.  The day, overall, had intense lows, and UNBELIEVABLE HOLY-SHIT-THIS-IS-FLIPPIN'-AWESOME highs.  I'm going to be okay.  ::nods::

Oh goodness.  I'm so excited about my Spanish class that it's weird.  I have been OVERCOME with this PASSION to become fluent in the language.  I've been speaking Tagaspanglish (and the occasional throw-in of some Japanefrench) to my parents as of late.  It's hecka odd.

I love U2's "The Sweetest Thing".--"I know I've got black eyes, but they burn so brightly for her!"

I, INDEED, AM COOL.

Hahah.

Today's lesson: Every single good thing that anyone has ever heard about love is completely true.

it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away when i am missing you to death

Bye for now.

Heylooo.

Moments that can change anything from your mood to your entire life is insane.  It proves how much different a day can make, for moments, seconds, minutes alone have the potential to completely ruin you.  You can pinpoint times that change your life to the second--like the very moment that you were told, "I think we need to see other people."  Like the very instant that you were told you had cancer.  The second you finally realize that your name isn't on the list of people to graduate.  When someone hits you for the first time.  When your best friend turned away from you, and just kept walking.  It's one thing, one little, simple second that can change everything.

And yet, the same principle applied to life from a different point of view results in absolute magic.  When your day is brightened, when your life finds something to go on, when your world finally makes sense.  All because of a moment.  The moment that they said "I love you."  The moment that he got on one knee and asked you to marry him or when she said "Yes, I will!" and excitedly took you in her arms.  When his smile gives sunshine to your entire day and the simple concern of "What's wrong?" alone makes you feel loved and cared for.  When he holds you and makes your heart feel warm, like everything suddenly makes sense.

I have been feeling the latter feeling as of late.  The positive moments.  My mind has devolved into a fine mush, only able to spout mushy mushy words.  I am the epitome of everything lame.

I am fine with that.

On a different note:

::plays the spider-man theme song::

Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can..

Today's lesson: Lifes moves in mysterious ways.

we danced through the colors, both followed and led

Bye for now.