October 19, 2005

  • Hello.


    It's been a rollercoaster of a last few days, for everyone, I'm sure.  At least mostly everyone.  For everyone else, it's either consistently bad (>.< i'm sorry) or constantly good (yay!).  I don't know how to put my situation into words.  And even if I could, it's a boring story.  Don't worry about me.  I'm like, "NO SWEAT!"


    :D The warm-up for rehearsals was super uberly cool yesterday!  I absolutely must talk about it.  One person would lie down in the center and everyone else, who's in a circle around that person, slowly walk towards the person, chanting their name the entire time, louder and louder, and then all help together to pick that person up, all the way above their heads, and then bring that person back down.  It's an exercise of being able to trust everyone around you that they'll support you and for everyone else to work together to justify that trust--when one falls, the rest work together to get them back up again.  Phuc and Daniel pushed me in the middle to go and so I decided to do it, and my GOD, I do not regret that decision.  There's few moments that stay in your mind and you just know that they'll be in your mind forever, moments that take your breath away.  That was one of those moments.


    Some people make me angry.  Piss off.  Some things are more fucking important than you and the world needing to revolve around you.  What if I said that to his face?  Like, "HEY! HEY! FUCK OFF!"  Wow.  It'd be followed by ten hours of seething guilt and shame, but perhaps it would be worth it..


    I'm now officially "doing my job" in the play (not that i wasn't before, mind you.  I SWEAR!).. running around trying to get everyone and reading off lines for people who aren't there (which, admittedly, is kind of my fault).  Messed up hella times, though.  I gotta STEP UP MY GAME!   Tryin' to start somethin', Lysander?


    I'm mad at myself, yet distinctly proud.  I must learn more piano.


    TODAY'S LESSON (pay attention now, this is important.): Don't. Fuck. Up.  Sometimes, you really can't fix it.  Depressing lesson today?  Damn straight.  It's not nice, but it's real.  That's life.


    well, i know what i've been told: "you gotta know just when to fold." but.. i can't do this all on my own!  no, i know.. i'm no superman.


    Bye for now.

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