Hey there!

Whew.  Today's the start of a new term, new classes. 

I like my English Floating class, I've been placed in Algebra 1 and need to switch up everything (ooh. deja vu.), I already know that Spanish is going to be a mad frustration, and there's something so undescribably intimidating about Comp Tech that I can't place my finger on.  It does, admittedly, feel a bit like the first day of school again (except now we got super-duper Phuc in the picture and after Advocacy, I see Matt outside the class next to mine and we have that uberly fun "MATT!" "CHRISTA!" MATT!" "CHRISTA!" thing that I always love.) but the lie that is my confidence is up--I'm trying to yell at my self-esteem that 'DAMMIT!  YOU CAN HANDLE THIS!'  I, however, lack the Phys Ed this term in which I would empty all of the laughter and jumpiness I have in the morning so I could be a little mellowed out, calm, and ALMOST MATURE (who'da thunk i could do that?) in my other classes, so now I'm really bubbly in all my classes except those really BORING ones (damn them!  ::cries:: tempting me to nap in class!  i'm supposed to be learning!).  Rah rah rahh.

IT'S HALLOWEEEEEEN!!!!!!!  Oooh!  Ooh!  HERE!  Halloween spirit!  I MADE IT MYSELF!  HAPPY HALLOWEEN~
 
I know, I know...  I'm HECKA SKILLED ON PAINT, HUH?!?!!  It blows me away.

Have a good day, kids. 

Today's lesson: Don't stop when they tell you to, don't hang over regrets, don't be afraid to run into uncharted territory, don't be afraid to fall in love, don't be afraid to fall into nothingness because everyone's going to catch you.  Easier said than done?  I know.  You still need to do it.

i made up my mind, and my heart along with that

Bye for now.

HELLO!

Whoooooooooooo!!!!!! TODAY WAS OPENING NIGHT!  It went extraordinarily--there were a few mess-ups, but there's no doubt in my mind that everyone absolutely loved it.  I'm very proud of everyone in the play.

Today was fantastic beyond belief for another reason..
I ACED MY THEATER FINAL, THAT'S WHY!!  Joking, joking.
Who rocks?  Phuc rocks. (he rocks my socks!  that's intense!) Oh yes.
Yes, I do think this is the start of something great.

Life is now fantastic.  That is all.

Today's lesson sound that seems appropriate: ::squeals:: XDDD (lol.  Yeh, I laughed at meh' own joke.  I'm hecka lame.)

i lost myself in the summer rain

::waves bye-bye::  Bye for now!

Hey.

- tomorrow is opening night for "midsummer..."!  EVERYONE, BE THERE!  yes, even you san jose-ians.  damn straight.  i want y'all to meet the cast.. they're hecka kick butt.
- i'm happy.  yes.
- lisa reminds me of lisa. two different people.  it's hecka crazy.
- english finals and last day of PE today.  it made me sad.
- norman is now dead.  the stuffed pig.
- there's a squirrel that i hecka think i'm bonding with. there's a connection there. i know it.
- check out the song "Lemon Tree" by Fool's Garden.  it's a childhood favorite of mine.
- i think my glue is out to get me.
- eat sandwiches and nachos.
- fate is a fascinating thing.
- i'm not worthy.  am i?

Today's lesson memorandum: Give up on giving up.

i'm driving around in my car--driving too fast, driving too far

Bye for now.

Hey!

All the bull that xanga gives you that this was written on the 26th, heck no.  This entry's from 11:58 p.m. on October 25th.  Xanga's trying to gyp me.

Crazy shit, man.  Craaazzzzyyyyy shiiiittttt.

Gack.  Finals this week.  One of the things I really hate about this block schedule is that it's October, but it feels like the end of the year.  New classes.. the play is ending.  It's like starting anew.

CRAP!  I'M A BITCH!  =O ::uber shock::

THIS IS A FUNKY FUNKY DAY.  I'm telling you, trust me on this.  Hecka funky.  Funky like a chunky monkey.. and that's pretty funky.

I liked today's play rehearsals, at least up to.. scary part right at the very end of the day.  It was my first day in a while I was off-book, so I didn't have to worry about lines (though i still worried about cues.. even moreso because i just suddenly forgot every one once my script disappeared) and I could really watch the play.  And, and, and ::gasps:: MATT'S A WHORE!  I mean, not REALLY, he's fun and wonderful but.. ::gasps::  Didn't you hear?  "Gasps."  It's very shocking.  I cannot believe him.  Cannot believe him.

Today's lesson: Quietly listen, and you will hear everything you need to hear.

i hear that your garden is full.. but is there any sweetness at all?

Bye for now.

HULLO!

Omigawd (yes, that's right.. "omigawd.")!  I was looking through the archives of the blog that is "jounouchilvr" (oh, memories! ooh ooh, from ocala newsletter in the sixth grade that i submitted: "If there's any reason for living, that reason is you."  Wow, I completely forgot about that.) and came across this.  Oh, man.  Who remembers when I used to do this?!:

Mood? Going through the five stages of grief, baby. Don't worry about me, I'm already at "Bargaining."
Thoughts? 'I WANT CEREAL FROM TRADER JOE'S!' (i just heard a radio ad that they have the BEST CEREAL IN THE WORLD.  i mean, it has brazil nuts.  c'mon now.)
Loving? Wonderous coincidences and friendly "hello, how are you?" transitions.
Hating? HOMEWORK!  HOMEWORK SUCKS!  Maaaannnnnnnnnnnnn.  You know, I haven't done my homework ALL WEEK, you know that?!  I hecka lucked out because my Bio class turns in everything on Monday (well, i got a ways to go..) and I guess I'm going to mad procrastinate on my Eng. projects.. yes, plural.  Projects.  OH!  And I hate bad timing.  It sucks big time.  Trust me.
Missing? I miss the San Jose-ians. ALL OF YOU FEEL SPECIAL!  Feel special nowwwww...
Wanting? The book "The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind," written by Relient K.    Y'know kids, Christmas is slowly coming along.. ever so slowly.. ::cough::
Listening? U2 - Slow Dancing (fine, whatever, it's hella depressing to listen to during the five stages of grief, but i'm listening to it)
Quote?   "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."  -anonymous

Oh yes, from 2004!  Among the best memory-jerkers is looking through these xanga things, I swear.  Looked through some of my first entries, many humourously deleted for their own immature reasons, and even went through the ol' oyamada xanga.  There's HECKA CRAP about Clay Aiken scattered everywhere.  Wooowww.  I cannot believe I used to absolutely worship him.

What I really laugh at is when I read over something I wrote a while ago and I think that it's clever, so I congratulate myself.  I'm so lame, it's cool.  No, I'm just lame..

PAUL (the fish) DIED!  ::cries::

I dislike it when people applaud me.  I mean, the encouragement and the idea of it is very reassuring and nice, but it's just that I'm used to applauding other people, not myself getting the applause--which is something no one should really "get used to"--'some things you should't get too good at.. like smiling, crying, and celebrity.'  I like being part of the crowd that offers encouragement and congrats.  I've found myself putting my own hands together when others are applauding me,and I realize too late that, "Oh shit!  I'm not supposed to do that!" because I'm just so used to being on the other side, and then I feel guilty for days at a time because I applauded myself.  IT'S FRICKIN' WEIRD!

Ooh!  KICK-ASS PICTURE!  That's right, it's so groovy that it calls for vulgarity.  That's intense.

The "Midsummer..." cast. 

Today's lesson: There are going to be moments that you're going to feel completely numb, where you don't even feel like going on.  Remember.. they're only moments.

i don't know why a man sees the truth but needs the lies

Bye for now. (a traditional closing that is, as of now, 2 years, 2 months, and 8 days old.. and counting. =D)

Morninnnnn', pardner. (no, i'm not smoking anything, thank you very much)

Check out Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band - "Dream Big". 
Unless you're one of those "i hate country all it is is crazy unintelligent banjo nonsense" people.  Not all country's THAT, people.  I mean, songs like Lee Ann Womack's "I Hope You Dance" and Shania Twain's "From This Moment On" and Johnny Cash is banjo nonsense?  Dude.

Today had a weird morning.  Kept having this absolute EPIC of a dream (an epic, i swear) of everyone from MTHS suddenly suprising me at old-school (pre-remodeling) Eastridge Mall in San Jose, and I'm calling up all my buddies in San Jose to come to Eastridge to meet all the wonderful Elk Grove-ians and me but NO ONE'S ANSWERING THEIR PHONE!  And I get this letter from Kelly Ripa who's apparently an old friend from my elementary school and Ramy didn't come to see me really, but we just accidentally bumped into each other and he was just, "What on earth are you doing in San Jose?" and I keep trying to explain that I used to live there but now I just visit once a month or so and suddenly I'm friends with Tom Welling, ACE PHOTOGRAPHER with the new DSLR Nikon with interchangable lenses (i know because Tom Welling told me and even let me use it) and I keep trying to use my Gameboy SP (which i don't really have.. that dream was kind of cool), but the game is so confusing and then Phuc grabs it for a second and gives it back and the screen says, "THE END!  CONGRATS!" and all he says is, "Total ownage, NOOB!" and we find Joeve and Chocolate in Denny's and just need to find everyone else.  It keeps going.  Very crazy.

I hate first impressions.  You work really hard to give a good first impression, but then you completely forget the potential of a friendship afterwards, or that they'd even know your name afterwards, so either A) everyday is a first impression or B) they start figuring that there's something wrong with you emotionally, because you're "not like how you used to be."  And before you know it --- POOF!  What the heck happened to you?  Suddenly, you feel slightly paranoid, screening the words in your mind before you say them aloud, and you can't relax.  ..first impressions...PFFT.  "Just be yourself."  It's amazing.

You should realize that this entry was pretty pointless.  OH!  Yesterday's "dying" scene was uber awesome.  I laughed until I cried.

A note on this week--I think I've found "it", Elk Grove style. 

Today's lesson quote: "The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -Allan K. Chalmers

torn by this pain, i paint your name in sound

Bye for now.

Hello.

It's been a rollercoaster of a last few days, for everyone, I'm sure.  At least mostly everyone.  For everyone else, it's either consistently bad (>.< i'm sorry) or constantly good (yay!).  I don't know how to put my situation into words.  And even if I could, it's a boring story.  Don't worry about me.  I'm like, "NO SWEAT!"

The warm-up for rehearsals was super uberly cool yesterday!  I absolutely must talk about it.  One person would lie down in the center and everyone else, who's in a circle around that person, slowly walk towards the person, chanting their name the entire time, louder and louder, and then all help together to pick that person up, all the way above their heads, and then bring that person back down.  It's an exercise of being able to trust everyone around you that they'll support you and for everyone else to work together to justify that trust--when one falls, the rest work together to get them back up again.  Phuc and Daniel pushed me in the middle to go and so I decided to do it, and my GOD, I do not regret that decision.  There's few moments that stay in your mind and you just know that they'll be in your mind forever, moments that take your breath away.  That was one of those moments.

Some people make me angry.  Piss off.  Some things are more fucking important than you and the world needing to revolve around you.  What if I said that to his face?  Like, "HEY! HEY! FUCK OFF!"  Wow.  It'd be followed by ten hours of seething guilt and shame, but perhaps it would be worth it..

I'm now officially "doing my job" in the play (not that i wasn't before, mind you.  I SWEAR!).. running around trying to get everyone and reading off lines for people who aren't there (which, admittedly, is kind of my fault).  Messed up hella times, though.  I gotta STEP UP MY GAME!   Tryin' to start somethin', Lysander?

I'm mad at myself, yet distinctly proud.  I must learn more piano.

TODAY'S LESSON (pay attention now, this is important.): Don't. Fuck. Up.  Sometimes, you really can't fix it.  Depressing lesson today?  Damn straight.  It's not nice, but it's real.  That's life.

well, i know what i've been told: "you gotta know just when to fold." but.. i can't do this all on my own!  no, i know.. i'm no superman.

Bye for now.

Hello.

Today's song: The Academy Is... - Skeptics and True Believers

This is quite a day. 

Why, you ask?

Because, friends, happiness comes in a grand orange.  I've always known.
 
STRAINING YOUR EYES, CHILDREN?!  click to enlarge, of course.

Yes, in fact, I understand that readers of this are generally from San Jose, New York, New Jersey, Florida..  and of course, that I'm not even IN the play, hahha (BACKSTAGE WORKERS PRIDE!) but whatevah.  Yes, there's my argument.  "Whatevah."  Well, in the slim chance that you DO travel across the country or two hours or.. five minutes for us Elk Grove-ians.. you might catch me in the booth, checking what scene it is so that I can get the other thespians for the next scene.  I'm hecka good, huh?  BUT I SWEAR TO GOD, THE PLAY IS SO FUN!  I've watched it days without end with constant repetition and I never get tired of it.  It's fun seeing Phuc and Matt die. In the good way, of course.  I'd so travel across the country for this.

Hey, I haven't done this in a while, so:

sign the ONE declaration. (Sign it!  Sign it now!) 

If you haven't already, of course.  I got an e-mail from the ONE organization a while back saying, "Keep doing what you're doing.. because it's changing the world."  Feel good.  Feel very good.

I'm a Crazy when it comes to something that just calls out to me, for me to chase with everything in my power, when my passion burns alflame!!!  Something's stricken me in that sense.  Maybe it's a phase of things which will just blow over, but I have the uncanny need to finish what I start when it comes to things like this.  This time, I've been spoken to through literature.  And dude, trust me.  I'm answering.

ldfjsifoahgjanm re;sojafduisadhfp;asd......!!!!!!

Damn right.

Today's lesson: There are times when it pays off to know that some things are more important than fear.  That's every time.

don't be so scared to take a second for reflection, to take a leave of absence to see what you're made of

Bye for now.

HELLO!

From the scrawled memos of Ms. McAwesome:
- SO watching Elizabethtown on Sun.
- it ain't frickin' cool when people hate on non-profit organizations, charities, volunteer groups...  as said before, you should be happy that you're even alive at the same time as these people.
- practice what you preach
- must work on being friendly
- currently loving Matty T., Bobby GEE (i cracked up when i saw Bob Gedolf referred to like that), Vienna Teng, Janet Tashjian, Bono, Mickey Mouse, and Phuc Le (he is quite the celebrity, thank you very much.  you should've SEEN those fairies following him around.).
- scrubs season 2 & U2: Vertigo Tour Live in Chicago are released ONE MONTH FROM TOMORROW!  what?  i'm hecka excited.  one month'll just fly by, just you watch.
- toe-tall-ee adore the "Midsummer.." play
- big jerks make me.. "highly and passionately opinionated."  that's an eloquent way to put it.
- goal: to bring everyone I know to a concert (but no one frickin' comes to Sacramento.. ::grumbles::)
- goal: to bring everyone I know to Las Vegas/Disneyland
- "there's a fine line between recklessness and courage" -- y'all should check out Paul McCartney's new single, "Fine Line"
- must buy the new David Gray album, A Life In Slow Motion
- maybe i shouldn't have pushed it
- Blvgari: Pour Femme is relaxing
- fall in love
- don't fall in love
- goal: bring San Jose-ians to see Elk Grove/Sacramento
- goal: bring Elk Grove/Sacramento-ians to see San Jose
- learn Yasunori Mitsuda's "Lost" on Piano
- EAT A COOKIE! 

And now, to see the entry out..

His name is Gribby.  Say hi.

Today's lesson: LAUGH.  It's medicine.

the light in me will guide you home

Bye for now.

It's okay to just wing it.