Month: July 2005

  • "Dear World,


    There is too much pain going on today.  I can't see it, but I can hear everyone crying, on their knees.  I can feel it in the air, that lingering black cloud of sorrow.  Is it always going to be like this?  I want to say it won't, but I'm not sure.  I want to do something but I can't.  All I have are my thoughts, my dreams, my mind.  I can't do anything as one person. 

    So I write to you today, world.
    Please, end the crying.


    Sincerely,
    Your Child"


    I found this letter--scrawled on a paper bag in marker--on the sidewalk a few days ago.  It caught my eye, so I picked it up.  I don't know when it was written, who wrote it.. but it symbolizes a lot today.  It stands for everything.  Yes, very obviously the bombs in London, the dying in Africa, but also for the young teenager down on themselves and don't know why.  The people that pray for a loved one in the hospital.  The little boy without a mother or a father.  Everything.  Our generation has a lot of obstacles to work through, doesn't it?  It's a little depessing--it separates people through differences, yet inspiring--it forces everyone to work as one people towards a greater goal.  What a conundrum.  Will we get through this?  I don't know.


    Well, there's my share on the current state of the world.  Am I bugging you?  I didn't mean to bug you.


    Things are going fine on my side of the universe.  That song, the Relient K cover of VeggieTales' "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" has been repeating obsessively in my head and I don't know what to do about that.  I got a newsletter from Monterey Trail about the Freshman Orientation Ceremony in two weeks.  I can't believe that school's in a month from now.  Kind'a crazy.  Not too sure about what math class I'll be in.. I'm pretty sure STAR/SAT-9 scores have failed me.. I guessed on most of them.. at least I hear I'm not the only one.  Hope, yet!


    On a different, more horrific-for-me note, my cat, Kitty (yeah, that black & white picky one that I had a picture of in an earlier entry) has been MIA for the last week or so.  My parents are convinced he's dead, while I'm still in that lovely state of denial.  But he's never been away this long..


    Thanks to everyone that's mailed me stuff.  I really appreciate it; it makes my day.  Still trying to reply to everything (which.. uhhh.. isn't too much, really) but the lazy hand attacks my active spirit.


    Thank you and good day.


    Today's lesson: Even when people don't listen at first, keep talking; don't give up.  Eventually, they'll pay attention.  That's the only way we can make the dreams take shape.


    promise me you'll try


    Bye for now.

  • Ahoy hoy.  Yes, that's right.  Ahoy hoy.


    Things are going fine on my side (they seem to always be.  which is good, mind you.).  Went to Yosemite National Park earlier this week, and it was a super experience.  Gonna go to Disneyland (apparently) early next month, which I'm definitely looking forward to.  Until then, I'm chilling in the Godawful heat again with constant temperature in the 100s..  I'm so not used to this..


    I don't get shit.
    ..Forget about it.


    OH!  And I want to learn how to play backgammon.  It seems fun.  And tennis, too.  I mean, I know how to play tennis, I just want to learn how to play it.. well.  I still want to go to the Alum Rock Park in San Jose again some time before I die.  I remember that place from <insert grade i went there in elementary school here>.  That's been a goal for God knows how long; I was always (and still am) nagging my parents about it.  One morning we actually headed out to go.. and then we realized that we had no idea where it was..  ::sobs in a corner::


    ..Yeeeahh.. I just realized how annoying I am when I ramble on about nothing..  I mean, that earlier part was something, but when I'm talking about backgammon..  I'll stop now.


    I'm going now, BECAUSE I'M SLEEPY!  Take that, Charlotte Williams!


    Today's lesson: You got one life.  Don't blow it.


    maybe it’s too soon be sure but I really do believe that some day we’re gonna have it all


    Bye for now.

  • Yo.


    Pyschadelic.  It's extraordinary how things can change, lives and worlds can turn completely upside down within the span of hours, of minutes, of seconds.  How laughter can change into explosions and sirens.  How earnest, sincere love can turn into bitter hate.  How confidence can turn into fear.  How faith can turn into astonishing feelings of abandonment.  Even more extraordinary is the vice versa.  When poverty turns into justice.  When war turns into love and peace.  When a world of darkness unites for one single moment when things are a-ok.  Pyschadelic, dude.


    Hope takes everything.


    Now, personally, I'm doing dandy, but thought has taken the best of me.  I've not the faintest clue of what I'm going to do, what's going to happen, why it's even coming across my mind.


    It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.


    Today's lesson: Express emotion. You can't live otherwise.


    the last time we met, you said we'd meet again.. the irony is only bitter now


    Bye for now.

  • YO.


    Burning in the sweet sun of summer, reconsidering everything I represent, sick like mad, computer's on the verge of crashing, and I'm feeling groovy.


    Happy Fourth of July!  Here in legal fireworksville, which is what I've never seen before as a San Joseian, I'm expecting like, a sky of fire tonight.. I'm sure that's not what'll float, but it's a bit of a frightening thought.  Yet I won't be happy with anything less!


    Yesterday, Daniel & Joeve headed up here to Sacramento because his family had their annual fiesta, and I was invited and had the privilege to spend yesterday with them, which was really fun until ::shudder:: Daniel did the things that Daniel does, and Joeve had to hold me.. I have to shoot him.  We went bowling in the morning, they saw my high school/house here in Elk Grove, and then we went to the fiesta later in the afternoon.  His mom urged me to bring home a lot of food, so I have four containers of bread.  I shuffled cards a lot.  Did anyone catch on that I wasn't mad in the least?  Rather, I felt oddly bad..


    >_< Damn it, Live 8 was on both VH1 and MTV and all these computer sites, but I never got to watch it except for tidbits on the news..  Darn antennae and 56K modem!  Forget that, I'm buying the DVD when it releases..


    Diving into ambition.  Life is too short for idle moments.


    Today's lesson: Sometimes getting used to something is a horrible thing, because you can't have that experience for a first time ever again.


    always wear a safety belt


    Bye for now.